Sunday, January 13, 2008

of late i am cranky

I don't know who or what is retrograde where but whatever you say to me, whoever you may be, I am liable to take it wrong and stew about it and make up imaginary scenarios that take it one step further and get all worked up - until I catch myself. And then I practice this idea I've been reading about and say to myself, I'm not angry. My mind is angry. Look at my mind. Look at that. It's angry. Hmm. Hmmm. I see. I see it.

And then I'm able to understand that the person crossing in the crosswalk who has a walk sign but who's crossing when I'm waiting to turn left over that crosswalk, that person isn't fucking with me. That person is all right. Free to go. And so are you, whoever you are. You're free to go, too, you person who accidentally with your mouth stepped on a landmine in my head.

But I'm a teeny tiny cranky time bomb/minefield of late. Go figure.

3 comments:

B. said...

I'm cranky too.

Diesel said...

It's the universe in general that is fucking with you.

Anne said...

Oh, can I relate to this! Some days someone walking too close to me is risking death and the next day I realise it's just my mood. Winter makes me cranky. Waking up when it's dark and not being able to go back to sleep because I'm waiting for my alarm to go off makes me so cranky I could cry. I so miss Australian light right now.