Tuesday, November 18, 2008

or not! not again!

People. You will not believe a word I say ever again. But I have been to the doctor and the baby is FINE. I AM STILL PREGNANT. The baby is moving around in there and the right size and having a total heartbeat and blowing our minds.

I...I...wha?? Wha????

I am sure to be extremely happy as soon as I peel myself off the floor, which may be never.

We gave that little whippersnapper a time out on the spot, right there during the ultrasound. It's a second per week of gestation, right? Right. So we were like, "NINE SECONDS, buddy. You stop moving around for nine seconds right now. This is a time out. You're in this time out because mommy was bleeding as though she'd been shot. Hey. Stop moving. Nine seconds starts over. Hey! Okay, look, the nine seconds is going to start again. All right. Look. You are in time out because we were about to bury you and plant a tree and place a Buddha statue on the spot. Do you understand? You're - hey! Nine more seconds! Oh, fuck it."

I'll go in next week for a fancier ultrasound to explain what caused all the bleeding. In the meanwhile, I'm resting and not lifting things and explaining my damn self to all you good people.

We're exhausted, and just maybe...feeling really good. Definitely feeling run over by a truck. But it's like a fucking ice cream truck. Driven by clowns.

All of you, all of your sweet messages, your sweet offers....I don't even know what to say. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Massive posse of angels out there. You crazy beauties and all your love worked a goddamn miracle.

Or I made a gigantic, embarrassing public mistake. That could also be it.


Either way, permanent real estate for all of you right here. (Chest thump.)



girlysmack said...

Oh Godddddd. Tell that baby that random blogosphere stalker Girlysmack is very angry with him/her for scaring the bejesus out of the entire world.

I will be thinking of you a lot and praying very hard for a successful, uneventful pregnancy... I had a miscarriage and I think I held my breath for the entire pregnancy that followed.

I am so here for you, monkey-woman. And I am holding my breath for you.

Anonymous said...

That is effing AMAZING.

Okay, so maybe I'll just slightly amend my offer to stealing Finn. Seems like some alone time might still be worthwhile...


Anonymous said...

oh, sweet tina. i'm relieved, and flabbergasted. rest up. we're mentally petting your hair.

Boliath said...

Hah - yay - BTDT too, bled at 10 wks, 14 wks and again a couple of times with both pregnancies, one they put down to a twin that didn't make it, another they figured was pooled blood from something or another - who the hell cares - babies made it! Congrats to you babe, take it bloody (hah) easy now and rest up, seriously, no picking up the child, no heavy lifting vacuuming, easy does it until the babe is big enough to remind you that it's still there every day.

Christopher said...

Wow, you must have bought a season pass for the front row seat on the emotional roller-coaster loop-the-loop ride of craziness!

Glad to hear about the false alarm. Stay well.

Becky said...

May many more of your mistakes have such a happy ending! Here's hoping the rest of your pregnancy is much less peel-yourself-off-the-floor-ish.


Anonymous said...

Yea! Thank you for sharing some much needed good news!

Unknown said...

Been there, done that, have the healthy 8-yo boy to prove it.

They were very scary times. I bled heavily weeks 10-20, then it just stopped. Lots of ultrasounds and intense scrutiny of the placenta afterward yielded no answers.

But I ended up with the best of results. :-)
Good luck with yours!

Ginger said...

Sweet effing WHEW.

I've had a pit in my stomach for you, and I'm so thrilled that you and that naughty bean of yours are healthy and keepin' on keepin' on.

Love to you

Sheila said...


Though I've just now caught up to the drama retroactively... which means I never had a chance to feel sad!

Everyone wins.


(And is it just a coincidence that my word verification for this comment on Blogger is "ducko"? Name your baby this PLEASE???)

bonnie said...

Oh jeeze. I hadn't stopped by for a while. I'm so glad things didn't turn out the way you thought.