Sunday, May 14, 2006

a very happy tina day to you

In college, I had a tradition for a while where I decided that every day was Tina Day and people should make little offerings to me. No offering was considered too small: pennies, empty matchbooks, deformed paperclips, broken pieces of tortilla chips. You just had to hand me a little thing and say Happy Tina Day. And you had to do it every day.

And now it's Mother's Day, a new version of Tina Day. I wonder what Finn is going to get me. He's probably made me a little card. He's probably going to make me some pancakes. He'll probably actually silently dedicate one of his small effortless milky pukes to me. A perfect offering. I'd eat it on toast, it's that unobjectionable.

It's 1:30 in the morning. What am I doing up? Why aren't I sleeping while I can?

Pepsi is why. I had a strategic Pepsi a few hours ago, meant to keep me awake through my traditional evening coma. It didn't take in time, so my head kept threatening to bob into my tacos. But now that it's beyond bedtime, I'm up. I just had a lovely hour and a half phone call with my mother-in-law in Australia.

This is the perfect time for non-sequiturs, this Pepsi-induced quiet awake time.

I love Finn's gums. I love his gummy mouth when he weeps. His mouth, when he weeps in earnest, takes on a Peanuts-style rounded rectangular shape. Finn has a couple of signature weeps that Dave and I find unbearably charming. One of them is, "La! La-a-a-a! La-a!" And the other is, "Nghee! Nghee!" I particularly adore his "La!" weep. I love that he doesn't know that "la" is a syllable usually used for singing. He's just using it. I hope he uses other syllables for weeping that have other connotations already. "Me!" or "You!" or "Bee!" or what have you.

Bee-ee-ee! La-a-a! Yoo-ooo-ou!

I'm starting to understand that Finn is actually my son. Up until now it's been like, my lord, what a beautiful child! I wonder whose he is! He certainly is adorable! Where are his parents? But now, he's starting to feel paisan. He's my blood, my little countryman. When he weeps against the poo or the hunger or the gas, I feel indignant on his behalf. Yeah, you gas! What the fuck? This is my boy, here! You want a piece of me?

His head smells...all right, look, we've all talked about and heard about the smell of babies. But his perfume is remarkable! It's French, I think! It's subtle and elegant. Finn would have been a goner if he were a character in "Perfume", which I think is that novel where the guy with the freakishly keen nose kills pure people to harvest their perfumey essence. Finn would have been this guy's main course. He would have been the coup, the ultimate.

Enough. Let's look at him.

It's 2am now. Closing time. I don't have to go home but I can't stay here. Good night.


la Ketch said...

oh MY! he looks like Dave, doesn't he? I believe so. What a fantastic photo of you two on the bed there. I love how he's between your legs and you have your hands on him and you can see your wedding band and also your fantasticly big boobs and also that horrible bruise on your arm which i imagine is from where they were trying to get blood out of your veinless arm. that photo is saying A LOT. you should frame it. it's art.

so good to hear from you and see Finn. So crazy that he's really here now and just bopping around.

i gotta get me one of those...

DL said...

Oh Tina...
He is so gorgeous !
I can't wait to meet him eventually !



(egg) said...

Love. Love. LOVE. I am full of love for you and yours.

And you brought back a very sweet memory which I'd forgotten ... you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

I, this day, am thankful for Pepsi.

Boliath said...

Oh wow he is divine, just divine!

Have to say I focused in on your boobs too, it's difficult not to in that picture.

Anonymous said...

That is one gorgeous child. Congrats...

Reb and Heidi said...

Yeah he's a real hunk and your boobs are awesome. Happy Mother's Day!

Anonymous said...

Happy Tina Day to you! Milkboobs! They are hot aren't they? They must be the Universe's Tina Day gift to you.

You know, my babyboy said "ngyee" as well, and my husband insists a direct correlation between that vocalization and wanting to nurse. In fact, to "validate" the boy, we used our facsimile of that word, especially if I was going to have to delay nursing for just a moment while I went pee or something (I have no idea if it made a difference, but research indicates that mothers who believe their baby understands them, and communicate accordingly, have babies with higher IQ, so I am on it.).

New healthy breastfed baby scent! Isn't it something! It is truly the smell of life itself (as opposed to stinky decrepit old people).

I am told that raw vegans have no stink, and as long as baby eats only breastmilk or other living food, he will not stink either. So far, my observation bears that out as truth.

Go figger. All I can say is I have a 7 month old with odorless poops and spitup, unless he happens to mooch some of my food, then we have a diaper straight from Stinky Shitsville. Papa and I agree that weaning should wait until after toilet training.

Anonymous said...

He is a beautiful baby!
I love the 'Mom' photo- it says a lot. About protecting, providing, sacrificing, committing and loving. It is also a lovely composition.

Kristen Palmer said...

Oh baby! What a baby! I've been quiet but I've been thinking much of you all.

Actually, I got the message you were going into labor - then I began a trip home - then when I landed, FINN had arrived. blesses and best wishes and lovelovelove

YogaLia said...

Why why why did you talking with such affection about his little cries and his little pukes and his sweet head make me feel like I wanted to cry? (If only I wept in sing-song). What a gorgeous thing, to be loved the way that this baby is loved. You must keep this blog going until he's old enough to read so that he can see what a wit is his momma.