Friday, July 29, 2005

my nemesis

I’ve been developing the idea of what my nemesis would be like.

Here and there I run across someone in person or in print that I think would make a good candidate for my nemesis. My nemesis has to be someone that I respect and think is smart, otherwise there’s no use. But there has to be something about this person that I find a little spine-tinglingly wrong, a little magnetically repulsive, something that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

I can tell you this about my nemesis. My nemesis is a cynic. My nemesis embraces cynicism not as a last resort, but curls toward it instinctively, like strange dark light. Other avenues have not been exhausted. Oh, Nemesis.

And I can tell you this: My nemesis is trapped in the web of his or her own extensive, intricate intelligence. It’s like a cloud of wires that leads the thinker in gorgeous, stylish circles. My nemesis chases his or her own intelligence like a preening animal playing with its tail. It’s a pyrotechnic intelligence with very little living, warm wisdom in it. Nemesis, Nemesis.

Also, my nemesis appreciates the fewest possible things, most of which are of brutally exquisite quality, with a few specially chosen “lowbrow” items on the list, for spice. My nemesis goes through life assessing things, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, ugh no, no, mmm, maybe, no, NO.”

The charitable muscle in my nemesis has atrophied, so it's easier for my nemesis not to use it. Impressive brain, unimpressive heart, Nemesis!

*edit: My nemesis also has animal-like ears of two different sizes and shapes.

I don’t actually want a nemesis. Lord, no! I can think of few things more stressful than actually having a nemesis! I’m so bad with actual conflict. My heart would be racing all the time, I’d be sputtering in the shower with all the imaginary confrontations with the Nemesis, I wouldn’t sleep well. I’m not someone who can have a nice robust fight and let it go. Confrontation works in me like Ebola, I’m not proud to say. I’ve really had to buck up my ability to disagree in person. I can do it, and I do do it, but I don’t ever love it.

But they’re out there, the...nemesis-al candidates. They're out there, and they're freaking me out.

Tell me about your nemesis, blogosphere.


Jason Grote said...

I actually have a nemesis. More than one, which worries me. But if you google-goggle my name and the words "Not Bored," you will get an idea who he is. Except he's also a pedophile, which his site does not acknowledge.

I didn't meet him until my 20s, so his pedophilia is incidental to his being one of my foes. But it certainly doesn't make me like him any more.

Eve said...

Oooohhhhh- I pity and despise your donkey-esque nemesis already! Leave Tina alone, you crafty ass!

My nemesis enjoys making people feel excluded, and is very careful not to do anything to be perceived as evil. Everyone thinks my nemesis is very sweet, but in reality, my nemesis is very selfish and hurtful. With a long curly tail.

izchan said...

a nemesis is someone that is in par or more or less better than you are.
If he is such a ... low person ... why even bother with them?

I mean, they are plenty of people out there that is not too fond of me, but I would never put them at the level of being a nemesis, more like an irritating bug.

Kris McN said...

My nemesis scats and plays Hackey Sack (sometimes even at the same time). They can go to a party where they know no one and have a great time. My nemesis is often cruel in a way that some people think is cool (lesser nemeses), but is just mean.

I'm feeling uncomfortable now. Damn that nemesis!!

Tina Rowley said...

kris mcn! As I live and breathe! Excellent.

Down with your nemesis!

And up with you!!