Thursday, July 03, 2008

i am in my thirties still now but only just

It be my birthday.

And look, look, LISTEN. The last post was true. But also a limited snapshot of things. I also feel quite blessed at the moment. Great marriage, beautiful child, excellent friends, notable lack of serious problems. I am stressed out but also blessed! I am everything that ends with "essed". It's tricky because I want to write truthfully for you, but then you always run the risk of regretting the airing of some of these truths. So I'm here to just say, true, true-ISH, but there's so much more. True but maybe overly categorical. I just didn't want yesterday's post to be the last word on anything for very long.

I turn 39 today. Since last night here in Seattle, it's been raining and thundering extremely dramatically. Is this an omen? Do I need to mind my p's and q's this year? Is that what? Or should the rest of you all be worried? "She's thirty-niiiiiiiine.....the aaaage we waaaaarned you about. OoooooOOOOOoooooo.....BANG!"

Next post will be about something other than myself, and also hopefully not ultra boring like today's. That's the plan. I hope you had a good little nap. You're welcome!


Kris McN said...

Oooooo, thirty-niiiiiiine. You don't scare me. Happy Birthday, Lady!

YogaLia said...

Re: your post from the day never ever sound like the grumbly post-er you might imagine yourself to sound introspective at times more than others, or concerned, but never in a way that drags down, always in a way that floats up.

Also, your story reminded me of this time when I was babysitting these neighbor kids--I must have been only about 12, myself--and one of the girls (a grumbly 5 or 6 year old) asked me to sing her to sleep, so I launched full force into some song I thought would be both sweet and beautiful, and just a couple phrases in (I thought it was all sounding pretty fucking awesome) she sat up in bed and said,



I think maybe that moment still makes me cringe.

Actually, thinking back on it, I think some of my deepest actor anxiety hearkens back to that moment...I live in fear that some director will one day holler at me likewise:


And I'll know that I'm done for.