Sunday, April 22, 2007

the politest response to the birthday song is, we now realize, MOO

Hello. Welcome to the post about my party. Am I blowing your mind? I'm not right side up. Believe it. Read it and weep. Eat it and reap. Balloon? You have the floor.

I am the first balloon that Finn ever saw. I blew his mind and strained his neck. That is all.

I am the cake. Your trash-talking was futile. I prevailed. He forfeited. The game was over before it began.

Oh, he poked me a little. He marred my icing slightly.

But Mother, Father, your hopes of a faceplant were in vain. I am too big! Too intimidating! A baby's face could get lost and never seen again in my pillowy depths. Finn was wise, he knew this. I do not call him a coward. He refrained.

Smile on, parents. My demise was orderly and dignified yet.

Cake, I have to stop you there. You were going to go on. I, a man, must intervene. A man is someone who is in the 1 and over demographic. I am in that demographic. Party? Thoughts?

I am the party. I'm...going well! I'm....I wasn't planning on speaking. I...? It was...right, I...I was fun. I was had by all. ? A good time! Oh, damn it. I didn't know I was going to be speaking.

Thank you, party, for taking a stab at public speaking. You were fine. I, the man, the baby, was also awesome leading up to my birthday, in addition to on it. Behold it, me, awesomeness. Of.


I am the baby. Now a toddler, now a man. Thank you for looking at me, thank you for thinking about me and speaking about me.

Yours totally goddamned UPSIDE DOWN
and old and blowing your mind,


la Ketch said...

Happy Birthday FINN!!! Dup and I were just marveling at how Finn could possibly be a whole year when he was just born. I guess that will be us in a little bit. The party looks fabulous and this post is hilarious. One year! hurrah! xo.

Ash said...

That was a huge cake for such a little man! :)

Green Butterfly said...

Hi, hope you don't mind me lurking your site. Happy birthday to your little Finn. My son just turned one in April too. :)

Eve said...

Man ALIVE, Mr. Finnigan Picklesby Moonscape IV, DDS, BSc, etc..

I have never seen such a grown up, mature, one year old man looking SO distinguished in a pair of stripey knit trousers. An 11 month old could NEVER pull that shit off like you have. Being a man and all.

Warm Regards, Sir.
And Happy Birthday. You delicious little thing.

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Aisha said...

Hi there, Finn!
You look as if you had a great birthday.

Dave, this is Sorella aka Aisha-- and I still claim Finn is also a Norwegian name...


Bet your family is happy to have oyu back after NaPo.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, big fella. GM, I tagged you for a meme, fyi.