proof of my own existence

I....writer's block....I....alive, I still alive, I.....

Many of you, so kind, so kind....I....you...such nice things you say about my writing....I...such appreciation....

My writing, I....I...what happened is I begin take my writing more seriously, like thing I...like a central fact of my life...like a thing I want do with all heart forever...and then...I...stop myself.

I hold self hostage.

I take me prisoner.

I hold me ransom.

To write like bad caveman is only way I get message to you from cave I hold myself hostage in. I no more good writing a while. I speak you without good writing, in order speak at all.

Why I hold me cave? I not know. Fear of thing. That probably it. Fear of thing, I think. That it.

Miss you, I...you there, reader. I have. By way. The.

What happen in Gallivanting Monkey life? Let catch up bit.

Finn used to never name thing. Like give name. For toy. No thanks. I say, "What name this bear?" And he like, "JUST BEAR." Like, "Just drop it." I keep try. I like, "What name this donkey?" Finn glare or sigh, then, "JUST DONKEY."

No more Finn no name. Finn now fully freewheeling thing-namer. Freewheeling in extreme. And nearly all thing name have same ending in common: dge. "Finn, what name this rabbit?" "Chadge." "Chadge?" "Chadge." Later, "Finn, look this dog. What name, you think?" And Finn all, "Woodge."

Some lately names animals in picture books from Finn:

Radge.
Choodge.
Chodge.
Choadge.
Widge.
Woodgie.

Some outlier names animals:

Cha (short "a" like "cat".)
Ra (also short "a")
Ree

Finn no longer shy namer. He spread this to more language, also. In morning, he enjoy exclaim, "Azazzy!" Like pizazz, but azazz, but -y. This only in morning. Like, morning in general bring feeling of azazziness not present in rest of day.

Also, I ask Finn, "What you dream last night?" And he reply, "Kitties." And I follow up, "What kitties do in dream?" And he say, "They flamshed."

Finn have other language construction I much enjoy. Is a double "is". Like, "What is that clock is?" First of all, question answered in question, right? Great, I think. But double "is" is extra joy. Example, I read Finn Peter Rabbit. Peter Rabbit eat too many radishes and french beans, get sick. Look for parsley. Mr. McGregor come after him, Peter Rabbit hide in shed, jump in water can, sneeze, all nearly lost as Mr. McGregor come after Peter, and then suddenly an interruption, "What is parsley is?!" Delivered in loud tone with face shoved suddenly in my arm.

"What is parsley is?" is now running joke between Finn me. He realize way he asked question very funny. I show him how he do it, he acknowledge very funny. Now we yell "WHAT IS PARSLEY IS?" suddenly at each other as non-sequitur, and shove head at other person. This always funny.

This, plus marvel and bang head against wall Sarah Palin, plus great new yoga meditation class, plus trying (you will not believe) write things to send places, this been Gallivanting Monkey life during self-hostage-taking month.

I not bother swear try write you more here, for swear only make self-captor-self angry. I whisper maybe I write you if captor nap. It not good writing, though, that I swear advance.

Note: This post been edited more thorough cavemaniness.