Thursday, December 31, 2009
if the world is a stain, let me love what spilled
I want you to start right this second and come slowly into focus. Be relentless. Be slow, infinitesimally slow, and infinitely persistent. Be slippery. If I’m afraid, slip around it, slip under it. Start with a warmth. Slowly let it spread. Make it like that day at Balmoral Beach when the sand was white and glittering and the air was warm and cool and the bay was still underneath its small busyness. Everything bad had drained away and I was on Earth but I wouldn’t have believed it. The inside was unrecognizable. The green and yellow ferryboats were gliding silently by and my ring was shining. We were on our knees in the sand. You propose to me like that. Then start lifting the veil, and like I said, do it slowly. Make everything get clearer and brighter. Let it all be visible. Where it's beautiful, I should know the extent. Where it's awful, I should know the extent of the damage. It should be slow, but don’t let it stop. Don’t make me wonder if you’ve left. If I have to see something that I’m afraid to see, let me know you’re with me. Do it by a warmth. Do it by a hand on my shoulder. Never make me wonder if you’ve left. I will begin as a newborn kitten, I'll blackmail you like that for gentle treatment. These training wheels should soon become funny. When you can tell by my heart rate that I’m properly strong, then you can splash it out. Throw out something dazzling, like a vast cape of fireworks-flowers-something I can't imagine. Something with teeth, something that burns. Cause awe. Sustain it until it crumples everything weak in me, until only a worthy companion is left. When I’m really strong, make your move. Surprise me. Kill me if you have to. Bounce me up and out of it and then you can decide if you’ll keep me or throw me back. If you keep me, I shouldn’t mind. If you throw me back, keep my illusions. Let me know what it’s like to move down here without sticking to it. Give me the thing that unlocks the suffering, the light that shines behind it and reveals a different shadow play. This is a prop, and that is a prop, and these were the actors. Credits.
Monday, December 21, 2009
emergency techniques
1. Emerge.
2. Check for bleeding. Are you bleeding? You're not. Good. The accident was a metaphor.
3. If you are bleeding, please stop reading this list.
4. Imagine that the accident only just happened a second ago. Assume you're in shock. Assume the accident was grave. Your responsibilities diminish immediately. Let others determine fault. All you need to do is accept the blanket and the cup of coffee and let yourself be squired to a nice hotel.
5. Watch movies on hotel cable.
6. Pretend you have amnesia and that this ignominious business is nothing to do with you. Nothing whatsoever. You're a Habsburg, for the love of all that is holy. You're descended from Confucius. This is all too ridiculous and will all be straightened out presently.
7. Just get here. "What happened? I just got here!" "There's too much to explain. Just wash this." "Okay." Do this constantly.
8. Many of the techniques have to do with denial. Note: these are emergency techniques.
9. I'm just a nice little hedgehog who lives in a tree with her seven children! Has there been some hullabaloo? Hm. Well. It all sounds awfully difficult. Off to bed, everyone! But not until you finish eating all your jam. My, my.
10. A classic technique is to be French. "It is complicated."
11. Hatch a plan, very impossible, with a rapidly approaching deadline. I have to be elected President by when? Jesus. I better get to work.
12. While campaigning, don't be alarmed if others are alarmed by the sight of all the imaginary blood on your shirt. Fold this into your campaign in a positive way. There's no time to change shirts! Only to roll up sleeves and solve problems!
13. When you're elected, this will be an accident of a different color, and completely consuming. You will have advisors to help you develop new techniques for your new problems. And finally, you will be able to launch an investigation into everything that happened previously. Don't do it, though.
2. Check for bleeding. Are you bleeding? You're not. Good. The accident was a metaphor.
3. If you are bleeding, please stop reading this list.
4. Imagine that the accident only just happened a second ago. Assume you're in shock. Assume the accident was grave. Your responsibilities diminish immediately. Let others determine fault. All you need to do is accept the blanket and the cup of coffee and let yourself be squired to a nice hotel.
5. Watch movies on hotel cable.
6. Pretend you have amnesia and that this ignominious business is nothing to do with you. Nothing whatsoever. You're a Habsburg, for the love of all that is holy. You're descended from Confucius. This is all too ridiculous and will all be straightened out presently.
7. Just get here. "What happened? I just got here!" "There's too much to explain. Just wash this." "Okay." Do this constantly.
8. Many of the techniques have to do with denial. Note: these are emergency techniques.
9. I'm just a nice little hedgehog who lives in a tree with her seven children! Has there been some hullabaloo? Hm. Well. It all sounds awfully difficult. Off to bed, everyone! But not until you finish eating all your jam. My, my.
10. A classic technique is to be French. "It is complicated."
11. Hatch a plan, very impossible, with a rapidly approaching deadline. I have to be elected President by when? Jesus. I better get to work.
12. While campaigning, don't be alarmed if others are alarmed by the sight of all the imaginary blood on your shirt. Fold this into your campaign in a positive way. There's no time to change shirts! Only to roll up sleeves and solve problems!
13. When you're elected, this will be an accident of a different color, and completely consuming. You will have advisors to help you develop new techniques for your new problems. And finally, you will be able to launch an investigation into everything that happened previously. Don't do it, though.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
